Shoot Something Tonight
by By the Sounding Sea
Summary: Lovely banter between Mary and Marshall about guns and shooting things. Knowing them, you know this has to be interesting. Rated T becausae it's about weapons and it's Mary, of course.


**Wrote this last night. It was quite fun. Just some banter between Mary and Marshall. It was fun to write. I do love banter. And of course, I don't own _In Plain Sight_.**

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><p>"What's your problem today?"<p>

Mary lifted her head off her desk in response to Marshall's question. "Hmm?"

"What's wrong with you? You've been acting weird all day."

"Do I _ever_ act like a normal, sane person?" Mary asked.

"Fair point. Alright, allow me to rephrase: Why are you acting stranger than usual today?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Marshall."

"You haven't been you're usual snarky self today. Why not?"

"I wanna shoot something tonight."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Mary said. "I want to shoot something."

"Now _there's_ the snark I've been missing," Marshall commented. "Mind if I ask why? And _what_, exactly, you'd like to shoot?"

Mary shrugged. "Whatever I can get my hands on. And is legal. I'm not gonna commit a felony or something, Marshall, you can relax your balls about that."

"Charming, Mare. Why?"

"Does anyone _need_ a reason to shoot something?"

"Um, most people do, yeah."

"I'm not talking about a person. Well, not necessarily."

"You said no felonies."

"How about I don't _fatally_ shoot someone?"

"Still against the law."

"But not a felony."

"Same thing."

"Not really."

"I'm tempted to take your gun from you. For the safety of all involved."

"I'd shoot you with it before you could get your dainty little fingers on it. Or me, for that matter."

"I don't doubt that."

"Nor should you." Mary got a dreamy look in her eyes. "I could shoot Jinx."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Half."

"Mare," Marshall said warningly.

"Fine, I'll shoot you."

"Now I'm tempted to call Shelley."

"Holy Mother of God, if you call that crackpot, I actually _will _shoot you."

"I think most people would say that _you're_ the crackpot, not Shelley."

"See, I might not be the sanest person in the world, but I'm not completely _in_sane, either, despite popular belief."

"I know that, Mary."

"You seem to be the only one who does."

"But I still can't believe they let you work with firearms."

"I am very trustworthy with firearms. What are you talking about?"

"Mary, you were just threatening to shoot Jinx, me, and anything else you could get your hands on," Marshall pointed out. "You really think that makes you responsible with weapons?"

"Hells yeah, I think it does," Mary said. "It means I'm not afraid to use them."

"Okay, that is _totally_ not the same as being responsible."

"Debatable."

"Good God."

"Do you think Eleanor would be pissed if I put a few bullet holes in her desk?" Mary asked.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Think Stan would mind if I shot up the windows?"

"I'm pretty sure he would."

"Is there anything in here I _can_ shoot?"

"Don't think so, Mare."

"Pisser."

"Yes, life is so unfair. God forbid there's nothing in the office you can destroy with your trusty gun."

"I do enjoy my gun."

"Yeah. Just a _little_ too much."

"No such thing as 'too much' when it comes to guns."

"Now _that's_ debatable," Marshall said. "Here's a thought: Instead of annihilating the office, why don't you go down to a firing range if you really _need _to shoot something?"

"I was just gonna wait until someone tries to kill one of my witnesses."

"You do realize that we're pretty good at what we do and that rarely happens, right?"

Mary sighed. "Yeah."

"Someone needs to evaluate your mental stability. Seriously. I'm mean, you're actually _hoping_ someone tracks down one of your witnesses. Don't you see how messed up that is?"

"As we have previously stated, I am not denying that I have some issues. And I'm not _hoping_, Marshall. I'm waiting. It's inevitable."

"Are you ever _not_ a pessimist?" Marshall asked.

Mary shrugged. "Sometimes. But then I wake up." She smiled as Marshall laughed.

"You still want to shoot something?"

"Marshall. Honestly. When do I _not_ want to shoot something?"

"Touché."

"Mmm-hmm. Hey, Marshall?"

"What?"

"How's the rabbit population in Albuquerque?"


End file.
